SinyeeOle's Blog

Once again, I get disappoints from you again.

I woke up today, looking forward to meeting you to go town, just simply enjoying my last day with you since we won’t meet again for the next 3 days. But you just had to cancel it on me. The nasty feeling is coming back, yes it is coming back to me again..

And it seems that I have to keep all my stupid emotions to myself starting from yesterday just cos i-was-at-fault-when-i-feel-ANNOYED-when-i-embarrassed-myself-at-the-counter-with-no-cash-to-pay-up. OF COURSE i was irritated because this has never happened to me and $$ has been an issue for me. and OF COURSE i had all the right in the world to be irritated for a mere ONE minute. And nooooooooooooooo you were angry and it seems like it’s all my fault all again.

Think about the times when you vent your anger more than a minute so fucking easily. Did I shout at you back? No. I just kept QUIET like a fucking mute and let you take control of the whole situation. I pitied myself and I pity myself one more time.

I am feeling so annoyed and disappointed right now. I wish I can be at somewhere else right now. I wish I AM PLAYING MJ so it can take things off my mind for another day.

I know that if I want to keep this thing work, I must do the following: remember to keep my stupid feelings to myself whenever I feel angry/sad because yknow….? It will make her angry. Secondly, I have to learn not to expect so much from people. The higher your stupid expectations are, the HARDER you fall.

So whats the plan now? Sallow in self-pity, keep my disappointment to myself and no one else because I dont like my friends knowing whats wrong with us, and look forward to my curry dinner.

Good bye.